Valentine’s day instant gratification or meaningful relating?
Valentine’s day instant gratification or meaningful relating?
Valentine’s Day is traditionally an occasion to celebrate the love and admiration for the one you adore and who doesn’t love a grand romantic gesture! I’m sorry to say though, flowers or a fancy dinner one day a year is not going to bring you the success you are wanting in your relationship.
I’d like to turn it on its head and consider Valentine’s Day as the day to reflect and check in on how you can show your love and care to your partner the other 364 days of the year. Like a garden, your relationship requires consistent nurturing, watering and care to grow and thrive. If you want the beauty, you need to cultivate it.
Here are 3 ways to give your relationship the attention it deserves this Valentine’s Day:
1) Check In! Lock in a time with your partner to intentionally hear about how they are feeling in the relationship right now. This is a judgement free space to express your feelings, needs and experience.
A few questions you could ask each other:
+ When did I make you feel loved and cared for in the last year?
+ Is there anything that feels unresolved for you in our relationship?
+ Is there anything you need from me to feel more connected and supported?
+ Are you happy with the day to day roles/responsibilities we divide in our lives?
+ Are you happy with our sexual intimacy?
GESTURES CAN GO A LONG WAY
If starting with the check in is too daunting, try these instead:
2) Send your partner the message that you love and accept them for who they are. Now, this can come in the form of a massage voucher or a written note in a card.
Either way, it’s about the message, not the money and then keep it going for the year! How can you let your partner know that they are loved and accepted in the language that works for them every day this year?
3) If you are not in a relationship right now, try not to go to that place where you compare yourself to people in a relationship. Instead, focus on what your needs are and what you would like to feel like in a partnership. Knowing your needs and loving yourself is the best pathway toward finding that perfect match.
If you’ve stumbled upon this article after Valentine’s Day, please know it’s not too late to give a gift of love to your partner in the present moment (regardless of what the date is). Working on your relationship is a daily activity and getting support from a qualitfied counsellor is available anytime. I’d be honoured to work with you – please book a session here.
Amanda
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